How to understand others better?
Learn how to understand others and use it to solve conflicts and build better relationships.
The ability to understand others well is essential to have healthy discussions, resolve conflicts and build strong relationships.
When you learn to understand others better, you will also interact such that others understand you well.
After all, effective communication is not just about expressing yourself. It is about making sure that others understand you well.
If you want to understand others better, you should know how we arrive at opinions, beliefs and thoughts in general.
We go through different sets of life experiences which gives us a unique set of observations. We then draw meanings from these observations and make assumptions.
With time we verify some assumptions and discard the others to arrive at conclusions. These conclusions result in beliefs which ultimately decide our actions. Let's call this chain, the 'Belief Chain.'
Belief Chain: Observations -> Assumptions -> Conclusions -> Beliefs -> Actions
But, this is not as simple as it looks. Your beliefs, conclusions and assumptions affect what observations you will make and vice versa. So, every element of the above chain is linked with each other.
Moreover, many people are unaware of the beliefs, assumptions and conclusions they carry. But, the chain is a good description of how people arrive at beliefs whether consciously or subconsciously.
Understand that every person goes through different life experiences and carries different assumptions, conclusions, and beliefs.
If you do not understand someone's beliefs, discuss their conclusions.
If you do not understand someone's conclusions, discuss their assumptions.
If you do not understand someone's assumptions, discuss their observations and experiences.
You should move to the start of the chain and form your understanding from there. Of course, you do not have to agree with them.
You can disagree with them but you will understand them and know why you disagree with them.
We misunderstand others when we make assumptions about their observations, experiences, conclusions, assumptions, etc.
So, If you want to understand others better, be mindful of the belief chains of others and avoid pre-assumptions.
That's it for this time. See you in the next post.
The Social Code.