How to have a valuable presence?

I get messages from people about how redundant they are among their friends. Their friends don't invite them to parties, trips or outings. They are not the 'must be present' members of the group. They want others to value their presence and treat them like a real friend. So, I have decided to take this issue in this article.

You might have friends who invite you to parties, dinners, trips always, but I am not talking about that. I am talking about the value of your presence. You can always improve it and be a valued member of your group. Let me begin by sharing a common quote related to this issue.

"If you are always present, your presence will lose value."

I don't consider it completely correct. If your presence makes no difference, it doesn't matter how much present you are. You will remain redundant in your group. But, if your presence makes a difference, and you are always present, people then take you for granted. Then it becomes essential to be absent sometimes so that others know the value of your presence.

Your presence will make a difference if it adds value to other's life. You can add value in various ways, which you can find below.

Be humorous.

People hang out around friends mainly to release their stress and have fun. So, they prefer humorous friends over boring ones. If you are humorous and make the environment fun and light, others will crave you. They will want you around because it is too boring without you. So, be humorous and have fun when you are around others.

Be knowledgeable.

You must have noticed that experienced people are always present when freshers do any critical work. The presence of experienced people prevents serious errors and speeds up the process. If you have knowledge or experience and you use it to help others in any way, you will make a difference with your presence. You will gain visibility at your workplace and excel in your career.

Be good at communication.

I talk to many people during the day and most of them don't listen to me. They will hear me say something and then hog the conversation with their thoughts. I have some friends who listen and understand others well. I often talk to them when I want someone to listen to me.

If you can be the person who listens, understands and empathises with others, others will prefer to be around you. If you want to be good at conversations, I suggest you to check out my book here. I have already helped many people have better conversations.

Be yourself.

Don't be a people-pleaser. If you can never have an opinion, always agree, you are nothing but an extension of others. You say what others say. You do what they do. You don't have a personality of your own. You are just an extra one in the group.

Be yourself and value your thoughts and opinions. Don't worry about other's judgement and rejections. Express yourself authentically and have a personality that sets you apart. You will add value by providing independent thoughts to the group.

You can overcome people pleasing by raising your self-esteem. And don't be mistaken, you cannot do it just by blowing kisses to yourself in the mirror. It is a complex process that can take several weeks. That's why I have created a one-month program to help you raise your self-esteem. You can check it here.

Be powerful and well-connected.

People who know many other people have access to resources, opportunities and power. They can use their network to add value to other's life. So, you can easily make a difference through your presence if you have a large network.

When you work on all these aspects, your presence will be valued among friends, co-workers and other like-minded individuals. That's it for this time.

The Social Code